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Where are all the happy people?

A friend of mine got cheated upon by his business partners. After the business became successful, they ran away with all the money. It can take months or years to overcome life hurdles like this.

Each day when you talk to a friend or colleague, or spouse, you will find that almost everyone is struggling with something at some point.

Some struggle for months or even years with the same challenge.

For example, being in a toxic relationship can take years before separation happens. Then months of healing are needed to let go of years of pain.

If happiness is so important in our life, where are all the happy people? I’m not talking about short-term happiness, I am talking about sustainable long-term happy people…

So where are they all? 

Where are all the happy people who have been through similar challenges, have overcome this, and how did they solve it? 

Do we need to become Monks in order to avoid being in a relationship, to have food and shelter, to not worry about money, so we can just sit in bliss without worldly problems?

So where are the happy people?

Once I made the mistake of thinking that ´´at some point in the future, I will arrive and be happy´´…

When I have my corporate success… THEN that’s the moment I will have it, and I will be happy. 

When I have an amazing relationship and find the right partner, THEN that’s the moment I will be truly happy… 

And so it continues, but the real happiness never comes… it comes temporarily, but it goes away, and then a new quest begins, to search for a new point of happiness and a better life. Does this sound familiar?

In order to make happiness sustainable, we need to look at what can affect your happiness. 

Almost anything external can affect your happiness, so you can´t be attached to the external because it’s inevitable. 

For example, If you miss a career opportunity, your partner leaves you, or someone cuts you off in traffic, you can´t be attached to the external because it will affect your happiness.

So rule number 1. Anything external can be taken away from you in an instant. So if you put a lot of importance on your success or material wealth, it can make you unhappy.

 It can also make you ´´happy´´, but this links more to safety and security, which is an important basic need to have. Safety and security are different from happiness.

Hence being attached to the external can make us unhappy, so the only way for true happiness is to look internally.

But you need to live life in the external world, and this is the dilemma; should I let go of the external world? Is it ok to have a lot of material possessions? Is it ok to be successful and financially abundant?

What you have in the external world is good, you can enjoy it, you can love it, and you can create more of it, as it provides safety and security and ensures your basic needs are met. 

So how do we add happiness to the equation?

Rule number 2. Happiness is internal.

Your happiness contains four areas.

  1. Mental happiness
  2. Spiritual happiness
  3. Emotional happiness
  4. Physical happiness.

If any of these areas is not in balance or you struggle with one of them, you will not be 100% fully fulfilled or truly happy.

If you regret not seeing your kids enough because you work so hard, you will not be truly happy (but you can work on the regret).

If you have a fear of public speaking and you hold yourself back from achieving your potential you will not be happy (but you can overcome this fear)

If you are physically ill, you will not be truly happy (you can learn to heal yourself).

So back to my question, where are all the happy people? Well, it´s someone who has their mental, spiritual, emotional and physical being into balance. Where are they?

I don´t know any. Externally, a lot of people seem happy, but I’ve not yet met someone who has transformed into lasting happiness.

So the journey of life is the journey towards self-realisation. 

The purpose of life is not only to find your purpose but to realise yourself. Realising yourself happens in those four categories. In Buddhism they call this enlightenment. It´s like eternal bliss. 

Do we need to go that far to achieve this perfect level of bliss?

No, we don´t. We just need to be on the journey. It´s like if you want to build a 10 million dollar business, do you need to go that far… well, you need to be on the journey towards… whether you reach the point or not is not the goal. 

The goal is to be ON THE JOURNEY.

Happy living.


Raf Adams 

If today you feel a lack of mental, emotional, or spiritual balance, you can take this 2-minute questionnaire designed by Prof. Dr. Mike Thomson from CEIBS (China Europe International Business School) that will help you identify the Gap between your internal and external worlds. Take your free check-up here now.


#flow #balance #leadership

happy people

”I am a practical philosopher and write thought pieces and provide perspective on life and leadership to help leaders to increase the quality of their decision making. By doing so, achieve mental, emotional and spiritual balance be more effective and make a positive difference for themselves, their teams, company and society. If you want to fastrack your results right now, click here to get the Suited Monk book or provide it as a gift for a friend or colleague. Yes I want it!

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