How to Stop Overthinking and Forcing a Situation

Sometimes the best answer to a question is no answer, just step back and give space instead.

Have you ever tried to win an argument with someone, and the conversation gets heated?

What would happen if you took a step back and just observed and breathed?

The heated conversation cools down. 

Why? Because your mind is giving space.

Have you ever tried to force a business decision, and it didn´t work out? Or try to make a bank transfer, and it kept refusing the transfer, or you try to buy something online, and it has technical issues, and you gave up. 

And then suddenly, one day later, for some reason, you don´t have to make that bank transfer anymore or the thing you wanted to buy, you find a better deal in a local store near you.

Why? Because of giving space.

Life works in two ways, you have the external world (what I call your Suit), your career, your house, your family, and you have your internal world (what I call your Monk), your purpose, your values, your passions.

When there is a misalignment between your internal and external world, resistance occurs. Things are not flowing very well in your life, your relationships, and your career. 

When things are not flowing well, we often try to force changes that are not aligned with the natural flow of life.

We are not giving space to allow life to take its own flow, and we resist changes. We try to control our relationship and our business from our minds. We fix on a goal or outcome that we want, and we do anything to get there. Sometimes these fixations become obsessions. Some goals are 1, 2, 5, or 10-year goals. 

Imagine working towards a 10-year goal from your mind whilst your life path is going in a different direction? Have you ever considered the consequences of such a misalignment for 10 years?

It´ll be years of increasing resistance, struggle, and frustration walking a journey that was not meant to be walked. 

That resistance turns into frustration when we don’t achieve the goals we want, it turns into anger when we don’t get the results we aim for. We meet the wrong people, maybe you have a major health issue, an accident, or divorce, all telling you, hey, this is not the right way, change something.

Why? All this happens when you are working against the flow of life.

I´ve seen it happen many times, and you still see it happening a lot in the world today.

There is nothing wrong with success, having success is good because it allows you to take care of your family, contribute to society, to do well for yourself and others. The only problem is that, when this success is not aligned with your life path, then tremendous suffering within you occurs.

So we need to change the way how we live life. We need to change the way how we make decisions. The heart needs to come first, and the mind needs to come second.

If you want to change this in your life, and you want to start following your heart, and there is an area where you are stuck right now, where a decision is not working in your favour, just give space. 

Sometimes you can give space for 2-3 seconds, especially during a heated conversation. Sometimes it’s better to give a few days of space when thinking about an important business, life, or relationship decision.

This space that you create will bring you perspective. And perspective gives you more options and will allow you to make better decisions moving forward. 

Always follow the heart first and build success around it. It’s the only way to be happy internally and successful externally in your life and career.

Happy living.

Raf Adams 

If today you feel a lack of mental, emotional, or spiritual balance, you can take this 2-minute questionnaire designed by Prof. Dr. Mike Thompson from CEIBS (China Europe International Business School) that will help you identify the Gap between your internal and external worlds. Take your free check-up here now.

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”I am a practical philosopher and write thought pieces and provide perspective on life and leadership to help leaders to increase the quality of their decision making. By doing so, achieve mental, emotional and spiritual balance be more effective and make a positive difference for themselves, their teams, company and society. If you want to fastrack your results right now, click here to get the Suited Monk book or provide it as a gift for a friend or colleague. Yes I want it!