A guide to making happy decisions


Every day we have them. What shall I have for lunch? What time is the doctor’s appointment? Where is the address of the garage to fix the car?

Other questions are deeper questions such as, shall I change my job? Shall I end my relationship? 

Every question has three solutions:

  1. A mind solution: most of the time, used for day-to-day activities and in business
  2. A heart solution: these are your dreams, your desires, your wishes
  3. A mind-heart solution: these are fulfilling your dreams whilst making practical steps towards achieving those

The mistake we sometimes make is to mix up these decisions. We think buying a house or changing jobs is a rational decision. It is not.

If you use the wrong solution for a decision, you may end up disappointed, in pain or worse off.

For example, you want to become a life coach, you take an online course, you quit your job, and you assume that because you are such an amazing coach, the clients will come. Wrong! If you are not good at marketing or sales, clients will not come to you. Disappointment and disillusion happen.

If you only make mind solutions, you may make decisions based on your external needs but without your personal needs being met. You receive rewards or bonuses in a company, but there is no ethics, integrity or personal fulfilment.

Often, the best decisions are those where both heart and mind are involved. With the heart coming first and the mind coming second.

If you think about buying a house, changing jobs or relationships, follow your heart first. Then use the mind to practically apply and see if your decision can work.

A lot of expats at some point want to move back to their home country or a different country to have a better lifestyle.

First, you follow your heart. Where do you want to live, and what would make you and your family the happiest? 

Secondly, think practically, are there good schools for your kids? Are there business opportunities in the city you will go to? Is the social security system good enough for you because not every country has a good social security system?

Thirdly, take some time to evolve this idea. Decisions are never just rational. 

Big decisions need time. When you want to buy a new house, it takes time. 

Time to be ready to receive and see opportunities.

If you force a decision out of fear of missing out, scarcity or pressure to get a house quickly, you know what will happen. You make the wrong decision.

So if you are on the verge of making a big decision, involve both your heart and mind. Check with your heart about what you need. Then check how to make it work. 

Then give space and time to slowly bring your heart’s desires into your reality.

Raf Adams

The Suited Monk provides guidance on how to live a good life. This this 2-minute questionnaire will help you discover where you are on your life journey. Take your free check-up here now.


#philosophy #balance #innerwisdom


”I am a practical philosopher and write thought pieces and provide perspective on life and leadership to help people to increase the quality of their decision making. By doing so, achieve mental, emotional and spiritual balance be more effective and make a positive difference for themselves, their teams, company and society. If you want to fastrack your results right now, click here to get the Suited Monk book or provide it as a gift for a friend or colleague. Yes I want it!

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