Authenticity – The Lost Art of a Happy and Successful Life


Growing up we look for external inspiration. Our father is Superman, our mother is the Goddess of warmth and care. 

We admire. 

In the early stages of life, we often depend on the approval and acceptance of others for a sense of who we are.

During school, our teachers inspire us through their knowledge, and then when we become adults, our first bosses impress us with their experience and know-how. 

We are inspired by those around us and we aim to achieve as high as they have or even higher.

However, sometimes, those achievements make us lose ourselves in the process. 

We are focused on external inspiration and wanting to be like others, wanting to have success, wanting to be approved, wanting to be like others and we start to make decisions that are not aligned with who we are in order to belong and to be accepted by everyone around us. 

We lose our authenticity.

Because we lose authenticity, we create a gap within ourselves between who we try to be for others and who we really are on the inside. This gap within oneself creates a mental, emotional and spiritual imbalance. 

And so suffering begins.

Typically around our midlife (40’s and 50’s), after going through our careers searching for external inspiration, we realise that only seeking external inspiration and approval actually creates this gap. 

Even though you achieve success, you achieve your goals, there is still something missing inside of us but we can’t really identify what it is, but we know it is there.

Then, if you are one of the lucky ones, the internal journey starts. 

The journey towards rediscovering internal inspiration and searching for that in others too. 


Authenticity is not inspirational at the beginning of our careers because we are pursuing the external world too much.

It’s only when life humbles us through mistakes or running up against walls or major problems that we realize what authenticity is and why it is so much more important than just external inspiration. 

It took me 20 years to learn that lesson.

We look at children with awe, they are inspiring, they are alive… and somehow we lose that part. As we develop the mind we search for a sense of belonging in the external world through achievement.

It is only when we realize that achievement alone does not bring real happiness, that we search again for the part that we had lost. 

Internal authenticity.

In business, we talk about values, in life we talk about our purpose and life path. 

The person who is truly authentic, happy, and successful is able to align his life path and his personal values with his career development. 

Your life path is first, your career path second.

How many people today do you think need to make that shift? How many have already made it? And how many are in transition now?

The biggest question is, where are you on your journey?


Raf Adams


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I am an executive coach, and life mentor and write thought pieces and provide perspective on life and career to help people to increase the quality of their decision making. By doing so, achieve mental, emotional, and spiritual balance, be more effective and make a positive difference for themselves, their teams, company, and society. If you want to fastrack your results right now, click here to get the Suited Monk book or provide it as a gift for a friend or colleagueYes I want it!

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